Thomas the Doubter

"The Incredulity of St. Thomas" by Caravaggio

housed in the Sanssouci, Potsdam, Germany

Today I read the story of “Doubting Thomas.”

I’m sure you know this one: Thomas was not with the other disciples when Jesus appears to them after the Resurrection and so he doesn’t believe Jesus has actually risen. He announces that he will not in fact believe it until he has seen and touched Jesus for himself. Then Jesus Himself does appear and invites Thomas to inspect Him, after which Thomas is humbled and believes in Jesus.

The story ends with a blessing on those who have not seen and yet believe, obviously referring to future Christians.

This passage is usually interpreted as putting poor Thomas in a bad light. Even the name “Doubting Thomas” seems like an insult. In fact, author Dan Brown goes so far as to cast this story as a bit of anti-Thomas propaganda in the book The DaVinci Code, which is going a bit far I think.

Still, you can imagine all the disciples standing about smugly as Jesus shows Himself to Thomas, nodding to each other and saying, “See! WE TOLD you we saw Him!” Conveniently forgetting that they too had required the proof of their own eyes in order to believe, the disciples would have been reproving Thomas for his lack of faith.

But today I saw the story a little differently. Let’s read it first:

John 20:24-29

24 Now Thomas (also known as Didymus),one of the Twelve,

was not with the disciples when Jesus came.

25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” 

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks

in His hands and put my finger where the nails were,

and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”

26 A week later his disciples were in the house again,

and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked,

Jesus came and stood among them and said,

“Peace be with you!” 27 Then He said to Thomas,

“Put your finger here; see My hands.

Reach out your hand and put it into my side.

Stop doubting and believe.”

28 Thomas said to Him, “My Lord and my God!”

29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen Me,

you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen

and yet have believed.”

One thing that struck me here was the fact that Jesus made a special trip just to appear to Thomas. He had already completed His work on earth. He had appeared to several disciples after the Resurrection. He could have gone ahead and trundled off to Heaven, but He came to see Thomas instead.

Did He do this in order to rebuke Thomas for his lack of faith? Or in order to reassure him?

To me His words here seem gentle and comforting. He offers no recriminations; He only instructs Thomas to “stop doubting and believe.” He doesn’t even throw in an “O ye of little faith!”

In His compassion, He comes to see Thomas and Thomas alone, to let a beloved disciple that He was indeed alive, and to shore up the crumbing faith of one He cared for.

In this light, I find the story encouraging. Jesus is shown here as the One who comes to us to reassure us. As the Psalmist says in chapter 103,verses 13-14:

“As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him;
for He knows how we are formed,
He remembers that we are dust.”

Instead of sitting up in Heaven waiting to bop us on the head and rebuke us for our failings, the Lord has compassion on us, and wants to help us instead.

Even those of us who are “Doubting Thomases!”

There's No Gold Star Award For Mommy

Motherhood is the original thankless job.
(I know they say it’s the second-oldest profession, but surely there was SOME gratitude involved for the first!)

Since the first child was born, mothers have been pouring all their mental, emotional and material resources into their babies and receiving very little in return.

I know, we receive their love and sweet little smiles. Sometimes.

But we also receive their tantrums. And their screams. And, well, their poop.

And then they get bigger, which is a whole new problem.

That’s the way it has to be, right?

After all, one day our kids will have their own children who will turn around to do the same thing to them.

(Unless they’re boys. But that’s another story.)

So we all understand that this is way it has to be when you’re raising children.

But I tell you, it’s tough when you’re going through it.

As author Jo Anne Miller said, “The work of motherhood is unseen, intangible, unrewarded and unending.”

You said it, sister!

Just trying to write this short essay I’ve been interrupted a good fifteen times by my own demanding toddlers.

Would it be so hard for them to just say a little thank-you in return?

(Yes. I know. They’re TODDLERS. I’m dreaming here.)

But the truth is, I’m not supposed to even be looking for anything in return for my efforts as a mother OR as a Christian.

Colossians 3:23-24

23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Matt 6:1-4

1 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Hmmm. So it looks like I’ve had the wrong idea all along here. We’re not supposed to be working for any rewards, even gratitude. We do it all as unto the Lord, in an attitude of thankfulness for all He's given US.

After all, aren't WE the original thankless children?


above image from amazon.com

Who Controls the Future? Not Me!

"Corn Fields and Poppies" by Vincent Van Gogh, Israel Museum, Jerusalem

Here are some thoughts I wrote a while ago on a pair of Scriptures:

Mark 4:26-29
Jesus also said, "This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come."

I Corinthians 3:6-9
I (Paul) planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.

Those are pretty cool when read together, don’t you think?

This is very timely for me right now: I’ve been thinking a lot about What Is My Purpose Here On Earth and all that. Maybe it’s a midlife crisis thing or something; I’m coming up on my 40th birthday soon. (If you see me buying a red sports car, stop me! Ha ha)

But, the thing is, much of what I do every day as a mother seems absolutely pointless. I mean, I wash clothes, and they get dirty again. I feed people, and they get hungry again. I clean the house, and it gets messed up again. It’s frustrating. Maybe you know what I’m talking about. At the end of the day, I look back and ask, “What have I accomplished today?” Rarely can I hold up some sort of finished product and say, “THIS! I completed this thing here!”

And sometimes it seems like the best thing I can say at the end of the day is, “The children are all still alive! I have sustained these five lives for one more day!” And maybe that IS enough. But I always feel like I’m falling short, that I’m not doing a good enough job as a mother. Especially when one or the other of them does something that makes me say, “What have I done WRONG that my child would ACT this way!” (Which is pretty much every day when there are so many of them. At least they take turns.) I worry about their futures, about what kind of people they will become, and what they’ll have to tell their therapists about me when they grow up.

Anyways, back to the Bible. What this Scripture is saying to me is, Just do YOUR job, and leave the finished product to God. As human beings, we want to control so many things that are really up to God. The truth is, we can’t even make a seed grow! We can do our part, planting and watering and all that, but ultimately, the result is in God‘s hands. HE must grow the seed. He controls the future, and we don’t.

And so what I have to do is trust God, and keep doing what He has set in front of me to do. And that’s both the easiest and the hardest thing about life!

It's NOT About Me?!

"Greek Slave Girl" by Whistler

Here's a reflection I wrote several months ago after reading a devotion.

The Scripture passage was 2 Kings 5:1-14, the story of Naaman the leper who went to Elisha for healing. I’ve read this story before, but here’s what the devotional writer in my “Upper Room” book had to say about it:

IF this story were being made into a Hollywood movie,

the title role of Naaman would probably be played by

a famous, handsome leading man. On the other hand,

the part of the nameless captive girl would probably be

played by a less-than-famous, less-than-glamorous

character actress. But in fact the girl captive is central

to the plot. God chooses to heal Naaman through Elisha

not because Naaman had won any particular favor with God;

Naaman's healing was to demonstrate to the unnamed,

doubting king of Israel that "there is a prophet in Israel,"

that God was active in that time and place. In this story,

the lives of both the captive girl and Naaman reveal

God's power.

We are often told that the world does not revolve around us.

But the story of Naaman and the captive girl suggests

that even our own lives do not revolve around us.

We are not stars of our own biographical movies but

players in the larger story of God's kingdom.

"What have I done to deserve this?" is not the right question

in times of either blessing or tribulation. Instead we can ask,

"How can I be useful in God's kingdom in my present circumstances?"

(written by Michael McDonald of NC)

Wow. I found this to be very profound, because the truth is, I want to be the star of my own show. I’m a product of the “Me Generation.” (or is that the Pepsi Generation? Ha ha)

We’ve all grown up with this idea I think, that our life is our own to do what we want with. From Frank Sinatra’s “I Did it My Way” to Billy Joel’s “My Life,” that’s the message we’ve received in this individualistic culture. We believe “It’s all about ME!” (to quote another song--I’ve a got a million of ‘em!)

To be told that this is not so is a radical idea. To accept that my life is not about what I want flies in the face of every natural instinct that I have.

But Jesus Himself said, “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it.” (Mark 8:35, also in Matthew)

So clearly we’re being instructed to let go of our own plans for our lives and let God work what He wills for us. This is obviously not the first time I’ve heard this idea; it’s a familiar one to most Christians I think, on an intellectual level.

But on a personal level, to think of this servant girl so many years ago, to realize that the ENITRE PURPOSE OF HER LIFE was in that one conversation with her mistress about the prophet of Israel who could heal her master; well, that’s astounding.

I mean, this was a real girl, with a family and friends back home in Israel, plucked from her homeland and sold into slavery to a bunch of heathen foreigners. She probably suffered quite a bit: loneliness, confusion, even physical deprivation. She was a SLAVE! That’s probably about the LAST plan anyone would choose for their life! It’s a tragedy of a life, by any rational standard.

But God allowed all of that to happen in order for her to fulfill her purpose. And she herself stayed faithful to God… and how do we know this? Because she did not allow herself to become embittered by her circumstances; she had compassion on her master (her oppressor to put it bluntly!) and she remembered that there was a prophet in Israel who could help him.

But again, I keep coming back to this: That’s ALL her purpose was? One conversation to set in motion the events of 2nd Kings chapter 5?

My reaction here is, What is gyp! (not very spiritual, but there it is!) You know, my instinct is to say, if I'm going to give up all of my plans and follow God's plan, then He'd better have something REALLY COOL for me to do!

I find it difficult to accept that an entire life can exist for one simple moment. Everything she went through, all her trouble and suffering, and that’s all it was for? One sentence recorded in Scripture for us to read thousands of years later? That's IT?!?!

But what if she hadn’t said it?

She would still have gone through all that trouble; it had already happened. And God would still have fulfilled His plan, because He is sovereign and that’s what He does. But she wouldn’t have been a part of it. She wouldn’t have done what she was meant to do.

And THAT’S a real tragedy.

That’s what I DON’T want for my life. So even if my purpose is something as small as hers was, I want to fulfill it. God give me the strength and wisdom to do whatever it is You have for me to do. And that’s my prayer for today.

What Should We Boast About?

The Conversion of St Paul by Peter Paul Rubens

In 2nd Corinthians 11, Paul is trying to refute the teachings of those false apostles who are leading his flock astray. Apparently they were claiming to be more qualified to teach than he was, and he decided to list his own credentials in verses 21b-28:

If they can brag, so can I, but it is a foolish thing to do. Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Jews? So am I. Are they from the family of Abraham? Well, so am I. Are they servants of Christ? I am a fool to talk this way, but I serve him better than they do. I have worked harder and have been put in jail more times. I have been beaten with whips more and have been in danger of death more often.
Five times the Jews gave me thirty-nine lashes with a whip. Three times the Romans beat me with a big stick, and once my enemies stoned me. I have been shipwrecked three times, and I even had to spend a night and a day in the sea. During my many travels, I have been in danger from rivers, robbers, my own people, and foreigners. My life has been in danger in cities, in deserts, at sea, and with people who only pretended to be the Lord's followers.
I have worked and struggled and spent many sleepless nights. I have gone hungry and thirsty and often had nothing to eat. I have been cold from not having enough clothes to keep me warm. Besides everything else, each day I am burdened down, worrying about all the churches.

It’s interesting that when Paul begins his “boast”, what does he spend most of his time boasting about? About his trials! All the bad things that had happened to him since he’d begun following Christ.

Hey, um, Paul? News flash! There are cooler things to brag about than getting whupped up on by the Romans.

But apparently this is what we are all called to do: to boast, not in our accomplishments, but in our struggles. (Not exactly the best way to pad the old resume, right?)

Consider James 1:2-4:

My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble. You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested. But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything.

And as Paul himself wrote in 1 Corinthians 12:9:

But he replied, "My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak." So if Christ keeps giving me his power, I will gladly brag about how weak I am.

I wonder how that would look, if all of us as Christians spent time boasting not about our strengths, but about our weaknesses.

It would certainly set us apart from the world, wouldn’t it?

The Work of the Harvest

"The Harvesters" by Pieter Bruegel the Elder,

Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

Two readings from Matthew:

Matthew 13:10-17
10The disciples came to Him and asked, "Why do you speak to the people in parables?"
11He replied, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. 12Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 13This is why I speak to them in parables:
"Though seeing, they do not see;
though hearing, they do not hear or understand.
14In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
" 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
15For this people's heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.'
16But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. 17For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

This is right in the middle of the parable of the sower, before Jesus gives the disciples the explanation of what the parable means. I find it interesting that He basically tells them that they already have understanding given to them, even though they don't realize it. They understand more than they think they understand.

I think sometimes we are like this; we ask God continually to tell us what we already know. Thankfully, He often obliges. But it is important to remember that He is not asking us to do anything He has not already equipped us to do.

Here's the second passage:

Matthew 9:35-38
35Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37Then He said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

I notice here that He doesn't order them to do the work of the harvest. (Unlike other times in the Gospels, such as when He says, "YOU give them something to eat," before the feeding of the 5000.) He asks them to pray to God to send workers.

The work of the harvest is hard, and He wants us to WANT to do it before we begin.

I am reminded of Isaiah 6, which (not coincidentally) Jesus was quoting in the Matthew 13 passage. This passage is often referred to as "The Call of Isaiah," but as it was pointed out to me recently, Isaiah was not called. He volunteered!

Isaiah 6:8
8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Right after that, in Isaiah 6:9-10, come the verses Jesus quoted about how people will not listen and they will not understand. That's the bummer of the work of the harvest: it is a calling to deliver a message that no one wants to hear, that people will actively close their ears to. But we are asked to pray that God will send workers to do this.

And we are challenged to answer His call with "Here am I. Send me!"

I'm still working on the praying part, personally...

Opportunities for Mercy

Veronese's "Christ Healing the Woman With the Issue of Blood"

from the National Gallery, London

The recommended Bible reading for Friday looked like it was a typo to me at first.

Luke 8:40-42
So it was, when Jesus returned, that the multitude welcomed Him, for they were all waiting for Him. And behold, there came a man named Jairus, and he was a ruler of the synagogue. And he fell down at Jesus’ feet and begged Him to come to his house, for he had an only daughter about twelve years of age, and she was dying.
But as He went, the multitudes thronged Him.

That’s it. Stop right there.

I mean, seriously! Doesn’t that look like a mistake? We’re right in the middle of the story of Jairus’ daughter and making our way towards the woman with the issue of blood, and we stop here at the end of verse 42 with people crowding around Jesus?

So I looked back at my book and noticed that the theme was on “Waiting to Receive Instructions.” Could they have stopped at verse 42 on purpose after all?

Let’s look at the story a little more closely.

Circumstances were preventing Jesus from reaching His goal as quickly as He probably would have liked. So what did He do?

He didn’t order His disciples to clear these annoying folks away so He could go about His important business.

He didn’t whine about the fact that He wasn’t ever going to get anything done if people didn’t get out of His way.

He didn’t yell, “Everybody MOVE! Son of God coming through here!”

Instead He had patience. He knew that His Father was in control of circumstances, and He just watched to see what opportunities this delay would bring.

Enter the hemorrhaging woman. Now you’ve probably read this story before so I don’t have to copy verses 43-48 here. We all know the woman touches the hem of His garment and is healed. But the important thing was that Jesus took the time to notice her and have mercy on her.

That’s something He would not have been able to do if His focus had been on all the stuff He wasn’t getting done because of the annoying crowd all around Him.

In other words, we should never get too busy to pay attention to others and have mercy on them. We should never see the people around us as a bunch of obstacles in the way of all the things we need to get done.

As a mother, I am completely guilty of this. The constant interruptions my children bring usually drive me insane. Quite often I am too focused on all that I’m not getting done, rather than on the people I’m actually doing all this stuff for, namely those same annoying little interrupters.

Instead I should be taking the opportunity to show mercy in the way Jesus did.

Following are two more verses about keeping mercy at the forefront of our minds:

Micah 6:8 He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?

Proverbs 3:3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you. Bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.

As a side note, my kids interrupted me approximately 4000 times while writing this. (Numbers are not exact.)

Maybe binding a reminder to be merciful around my neck is a good idea...